Mothers Day

I was at a t girl club with my boyfriend one night and I started feeling strange. I felt like I did pcp and I thought I was going to pass out, someone spiked my drink with the date rape drug. I was too high on crystal to pass out but it was close. We left the club and I stopped in a doorway because I couldnt walk any further. He left and came back with a blanket for me. I put the blanket over me and laid down in the doorway, I passed out. I woke up a few hours later and felt hungover. We walked downtown and he was starting to shake because he had no alcohol in him. We decided to go to the bus terminal, he had friends there. It was light out when we got there and he told me to wait outside. As I was waiting way too long two guys came walking up, they cleaned up around the terminal. One of them walks up to me and calls me faggot twice. All of a sudden he sucker punches me in the face. This pissed me off and I jumped up and said “lets go”. We danced around I couldnt get a shot in but he landed five or six. His punches didnt phase me and he knew it, he backed off with a scared look on his face. I told him” you hit like a bitch”. Just then the other one started screaming at me so I screamed back. right in the middle of my rant he hit me in the side of the head with something. He rang my bell and I fell over. Just then the police showed up and didnt want to hear me. They told me to get lost, so I did, to the hospital. I remember thinking what a screwed mothers day, now Im always going to remember this. My boyfriend had never came back and I never saw him again(my choice) I have nerve damage in my ear and still hear ringing to this day.

Suboxone- blues

I’ve decided to get off of Suboxone maintenance because I want to be free of it finally and it might interfere with my operations, plus I’m tired of living in fear of not having it. I have a year of clean time and 3 years of quitting dope. Suboxone is a partial agonist opiate that fills up the receptors so nothing else can get on them. Right now I’m down to 1.5 mg and thats still a lot, I need to get down to .25mg to stop taking it. Its a long drawn out taper because I have to go down 25% of the dose every drop. I put my drops at 7 days because I’m comfortable there. I’m not worried about the jump at the end because I’ve done this successfully already. I did this same taper and no crash at the end, none. If you need more information about tapering off just look up Roberts Taper, theres plenty of information there.

Hipocrites all around

I was walking down Market street which is a busy area in  downtown San Francisco. I came upon a sidewalk preacher, he had a microphone and amp and he was preaching the word. Everyone was ignoring him and it’s natural in the city. I walked up to him and tried to give him a few bucks but he refused, I said, ” Are you sure?”. He said, ” I don’t take money, give it to a homeless person”. I heard someone behind me say, ” GIVE IT TO A HOMELESS GUY” I turned around and there was this guy standing back by the street, the preachers bodyguard or something.  I smiled at him and walked away and there was a homeless dude coming right at me so I gave him the money. The homeless dude smiled big and said “thanks and God bless you, God bless you”, as I walked away I realized the preacher never tried to save me, not a word. He was there to save people, and he had me right there to preach at. I knew he knew I was transgender, I guess I wasn’t good enough to save in his eyes. What the hell is happening to Christians these days? I am saved already but he didnt know that.


  • She was beautiful back in the day.
  • When secrets and lies were hidden away.
  • She had dreams that tortured her in the night.
  • She battled with loneliness and lost the fight.
  • Hate was the only thing she ever gave me.
  • I thought when she died I would be free.
  • I carried the hurt and irrational fears.
  • It tore me apart for too many years.
  • She messed up my life even after she died.
  • I finally faced it and broke down and cried.
  • God only knows where she is now.
  • It doesn’t matter any how



  • You are beautiful as the days are long.
  • You happily marched to a different song.
  • You never fit in but you found your way.
  • You wanted to leave but decided to stay.
  • Loved ones and friends didn’t understand,
  • The semicolon tattooed on your hand.
  • You’re a warrior and you fought well.
  • You’ve been knocked down and dragged through hell.
  • You’re here and you’re beautiful inside and out.
  • You’re scars will heal, without a doubt.